The fence

From as far back as I can remember I've been restless with my chosen career path. I never really felt like I chose - it just sort of happened. And it was good - inspiring clients, lovely friends, and the chance to live and explore some wonderful cities and places along the way (as well as a fair few dodgy hotels in the midwest of America). But, the big BUT...I always felt uncomfortable that it wasn't really my path, and the evidence certainly suggests that my entire adult life I've been on a constant quest to find out what my path should in fact be.

Alongside a full time career, evenings and weekends were always filled with endless courses in everything - journalism, embroidery, interior design, lampshade making, children's book writing, upholstery, gardening, furniture restoration, hand bag design - and I'm sure I've even missed a few. Businesses imagined, businesses started, businesses stalled. Bookshelves filled with several editions of 'What Colour is My Parachute?' and many copies of the equivalent but with a different cover. Stacks of fresh note books with the first few pages filled with promise. So yes, I've had a go at lots of stuff. That said, it was only recently when I was chatting with a friend (who happens to be trained as a life coach), that I realised that all of my ventures and adventures were in fact brilliantly useful. Until that conversation, I had taken the negative view that each attempt at something was a failure, instead of seeing each exploration as a building block, adding shape and meaning to the one before.

As I find myself now in the Hampshire countryside after having made the move out of London, I can see clearly that everything I have had a go at has in fact given me the confidence to start Sutton Hardware. I've cobbled together a heady mix of all the bits I love - antiques, interiors, writing, upholstery, recycling, renovating...it's all there. And that's proof that the various stages of exploration to find the path, were in fact all binding together along the way to create the form I wanted. So thank you lovely Paula for your sage words...

Interestingly, I thought about calling this post 'the ladder', but I realised that this suggests that each time you take a step you are moving up and away from the previous idea and onto the next, but actually it's about weaving together the ideas to become a sound unit. There's also an irony in 'the fence' as I certainly sat on there for quite some time before finally deciding to prioritise my yearnings. I didn't mean this to be deep and thoughtful, but I have to say, shifting something from being an 'on the side' desire to a meaningful priority has been liberating.